Monday, December 4, 2017

Things I Learnt at Twenty Three.


and things I have learnt through out the journey. 


It seemed like forever ago when I celebrated my seventeenth birthday.
I remember the feeling of being seventeen and graduated high school months earlier at the same year, not knowing what I wanted to do, not knowing where I'd be in the next five years, not knowing if the heartbreak would heal or if I would find somebody to love, or to simplify it, lost.
Fast forward to six years later,  year twenty-seventeen, I turned twenty-three (couple weeks ago). Nothing crazy.
I celebrated my birthday week with close friends and on the weekend (which was the actual birthday), I flew to Byron Bay for 24 hours with a stranger I met in Cairns, which later I call a friend. As I said, nothing was crazy but it was just what it needed to be; surrounded by the people I value the most and being fully myself to welcome twenty-three. *raise the glass*

I know it is too soon to give a speech about life but I believe it is never too early to share the things I have learnt through out my teenage years and the transition to adulthood, because I was once very young and anxious about the future and confused on dealing with things. I was once too young to call it a self discovery but I think no one knows you better than yourself. 


So here are the things I have learnt at Twenty Three.

  1. It is okay to be lost. I have realised that many of us have envisioned what we want to be when we grow up, doctor, businessmen or women, pilot, you named it. But through-out the process, you start to discover more interesting things about yourself and the things you want to do or the one that's gonna be your career/job. Some of us are lucky enough to discover the passion real quick, but some are still wondering around juggling the possibilities of careers or focus on your calling. Some people have a full time job at fancy office and not happy because they say it's not their passion or what they wanna do, meanwhile some of us are still searching for the call while working as a waitress or barista or sales assistant at Nike (etc). It is okay to be confused, it is okay to be lost. Because when you're lost, you tend to push more boundaries to find yourself, and girlfriends, it doesn't happen overnight. 
  2. You are going to lose people along the way. Yup! You are going to lose a lot of friends. The people you thought you'd be friends forever, the high school mates, or anyone you have encountered with. The older you get, the more you understand yourself. The more you understand yourself, the more you value it. You no longer have time to deal with toxic unnecessary conversations that has nothing to do with you or your growth. You no longer have time to hang out to kill time. You no longer have time to manifest your friendship by being there in person every single day, no. At twenty three, you will find the way you value your time and for the people who do not get it, frankly, they have to go. 
  3. Heart breaks, darling, it's not the end of the world. Remember your high school crush? Remember that guy who took forever to reply your text message? Remember the guy who told you he likes you but did nothing to prove it? Remember the guy who cheated on you? Remember all the heart breaks that you possibly can and how you thought it was the end of the world, you were extremely broken and sad about it. You thought it was everything and he left and suddenly your world crumbles because you think he was your everything. Okay, you need stop now! It is not the end of the world. I understand the pain can be extremely terrifying that to the point where it can change you completely. But you have to remember that it is not the end of everything. You will still wake up the next morning to a whole new day and you will still fight through. You will get things together and there will eventually be someone out there who will put the pieces back together and love it. There will be a person who will love your broken pieces as whole and love you for who you are like you've never been loved before. 
  4. Never compare your journey to others. This millennials era is really daunting. We tend to compare what we have done to other people's milestone. For example, your friends in high school are getting married and some are having kids. while you're still sitting in front of the screen browsing where to eat next weekend with your friends. Or people are achieving this and that, and when you look at yourself, you have barely done any washing for the day. You get what I mean? Millennials tend to compare their achievements to other people's success. Let me tell you kids, at twenty three, you'll question your worth a lot more in achieving things. What matters to other people might not matter to you, vice versa. Focus on your own goal, tick your own list, give yourself 100% motivation to do it all. The more you compare, the more you pay attention to people rather than yourself and the more it happened, the further you are from your goals. 
  5. Happiness is an inside job. Darling, you can't expect anyone to make you happy, if you do so, they more likely have the control to take it away too. Your happiness is your responsibility. I don't wanna sound like a bitch when I say this, but I am comfortable enough to admit that I no longer want people to take control on how I feel. If this is the moment I have to be selfish in order to protect my self and to be happy, I'll do what it takes to let that be. What I have realised lately is that I am in charge of making myself happy. I expect less from people and more from myself. Because no one understands you better than you do. 
  6. Just do it. The Nike slogan is probably life's best advice. During your transition from teenage years to adulthood, you often find yourself in confusion on whether you should take that major or text that guy you've been eyeing on or start a conversation with a stranger while traveling or the list goes on. When you couldn't stop thinking about things and have been debating on whether you should do it or not, probably just do it. It is always better to look back and say 'I did it' and know the consequences rather than mumble 'I wish I did' in regret for the rest of your life. 
  7. Travel solo, at least once in your life. Solo traveling was one of the best decision that I took this year. I had to travel solo when my boyfriend could not make it to the trip. I really learnt about myself and my intuition, learnt how to trust myself fully and I learnt how to be alone with myself. At the beginning of solo traveling, I felt really lonely in such a big hotel room all by myself, having no one to talk to while visiting the most wonderful views, eat alone, navigate myself for the journey all on my own. Do they sound awful? I guess it is normal to share the bad side first than the bright side :) But then I realise that I can't be at a new city I have never been before and be sad about it. So I decided to change my mindset completely. That hotel room wasn't big at all and I learnt how to rest and prepare tomorrow. Having no one to talk to while discovering places wasn't bad at all, I paid more attention to my surrounding and met strangers along the way and even be friends with some of them and share my passion for travel to them (I even gave my Melbourne itinerary to a Chinese couple that shared the airbnb apartment with me while I was in Cairns). Little did I know, I have gained a lot by traveling solo, and it made my heart so full. 
  8. Love yourself. These days, it is very easy to hate yourself. We begin to question ourselves and lack of confident. Loving yourself doesn't mean your narcissistic. Loving yourself means taking care of your body instead of wanting to look like Victoria's Secret angels body. Loving yourself means be confident in your own skin, despite its colour or its size. Loving yourself mean let go of the things that are toxic to you; be it environment, friends, conversations, etc. Loving yourself means you respect yourself and every inch of your soul. We are all beautiful in our own ways and loving yourself is one of the main key to appreciate your beautiful soul.

I am pretty sure I have 100 more lists I'd love to include in this article, but these are the major issues amongst millennials (including myself). I am not saying that I am perfect. I am imperfect and through my imperfection I wanted to share this with you, so you know that you're not alone in this midlife crisis. This is also a little reminder to myself, in case I would feel less excited about my life, I'd be able to look back at this article and be reminded. 

I hope this article can be useful to you and please share your thoughts about this by commenting down below :) I would love to hear your thoughts! Until then, xx Lenny.

Photo by Daryl Irawan
Outfit Black Dress - Zara, Hat - Sportsgirl, 
Outerwear - H&M, 
Necklace - Gregory Jewellery, 
Earrings - Lovisa Jewellery
Location Canola Fields, NSW